Christ on the inside

I used to think that the church was the building that I went to on Sundays. Then, I thought it was the people that attended meetings. But then, this morning on facebook, one of the authors/church planters/friends I have befriended posts this... "The church isn't the people, it's the Christ in the people." ~Milt Rodriguez
I think that sums it up perfectly. And if I've learned anything in the last year and a half, it's that people are not wholly Christ, but do have Christ living in them. Sometimes we make choices and sometimes Christ in us is making choices.
In searching the gospels for some tangible advice, I stumbled across the beatitudes. I spent three months studying them in a class I took back in the institutional church, but they were kinda' flat to me at the time. They stand out in my current place in this journey.
We have a person in "there" and we have Christ. The person within, our personality, feelings, quirks, whatever is the one that gets to make the decision to take over, or let Christ live His life through us. When that person, me, gets humble, meek, feels sorrow, and forgives, the Christ living in there is my comfort. When living with others who have Christ within, we let the Christ in them comfort us too.
I know that a lot of people who are not christians think that christians are mean. They are right. We are people who have the living God inside of us. It's when we don't know how to, or don't choose to turn to Him, that we are just judge-y people.
It's like we have all this power, and pride in the power, but never let the power be powerful. Until we do, then we have what's called a "revelation of Christ."
I am an abstract thinker. Us abstract thinkers tend to need much time to ourselves. I can't be with others too much because then I can't do the things I feel like am supposed to do each day. I tend to see things from an outside view and can get "vision" from a far distance when I am taking my time. I have different times through out the week that I schedule time with others... or else it wouldn't happen at all. That is not the Christ in me, that is my personality, being an abstract thinker.
I am a part of the Body of Christ where we have other abstract thinkers, and concrete thinkers. I have noticed through out my whole life, before becoming a christian and after, the things that bond people. There always interests, hobbies, and having Christ within that bond us. But for all those things, it is the way we think and relate to others that bond us to the people we spend most of our time with.
I am a part of a large church. As far as organic churches go, we are beyond a mega church(according to a church planter).
It is Christ that brings us all together. We all have some amount(or portion) of Him inside. Some have chosen to turn to Him within more than others and so it's easier for them. Some are very new at the concept of Him living within. We all have Him, but none of us have the same portion. It's beautiful to see different people and personalities share Him and pour into each other.
We have the ability to pour into each other either Christ, or ourselves. It's hard to know the difference sometimes. It used to be that any good feelings were from Christ and any bad feelings were from the devil. I don't believe that anymore.
I have personal boundaries. When they get crossed, I usually don't speak up, but instead get angry, harbour resentments and pull back. When I am able to speak up and lovingly let someone know that a boundary was crossed and talk with them about it, that's Christ. It won't feel good. It will actually feel the opposite of good, but it's Christ. And it's for the good of Him. Christ wants all of His children to love each other.
The human (or some call it flesh) can do whatever it wants. The human in us is not bad. I used to get so upset when I saw humans behaving like humans. I would get jealous when I saw girl groups form because I am not a "girl group" kind of girl. But, there's really nothing wrong with that. It is okay to bond together based on personality types and human desires and lifestyles. It makes sense and I think the Lord is okay with it. I was having such a hard time trying to make Christ fit into a mold. I was trying to be a type of personality in order to fit in(all my life) when I don't need to fit in, in order to share Christ.
I can be the type of person that stays home most days and has the occasional day out. If I don't get "poured" into by another person, the Source Himself can pour into me and it's just as good.
Brother Paul was still getting His portion of Christ while in prison.
If a group is formed and the foundation is purely Christ, no one with Christ on the inside will ever be left out. But, our human selves can form groups(which is not a bad thing at all) and people can feel left out.
The Lord cleared it up for me. I was calling everything, and I mean everything, Christ. Forgetting that we still have human selves and human lives. And then I was getting hurt or offended when humans(which I was mistaking for Christ) were letting me down. I was losing faith in my Lord. And I doubted that Christ lived in me because I was screwing up so badly. It's that darn human side to me that keeps messing me up. And the human/flesh will always have wants and desires. Most of the time selfish... or loving, but with selfish motives behind the love. Darn the fleshy flesh.
Thanks for reading my loooong blog entry. It's been a rough morning so far(was sneak attacked by satan this am) and I just needed to write.
Love,
Jackie