the day we broke

Being broken before the Lord. It's not something that happened the day I became a Christian. It is painful and deep. It's more than a revelation of Him.
When I became a broken person before Him, nothing could ever change that. It's not something that can be undone in my life.
Three years ago a metaphorical storm was brewing. Chris was about to have his aneurysm and everything that surrounded that. The people we were then are not the people we are now. We actually became broken before the Lord. Everything we were made of as humans and everything our marriage was made of was about to become completely broken and dependant on the Lord.
My husband made a horrible decision that night. It led to his aneurysm that was waiting in his neck like a ticking time bomb, to burst. The story was featured on our town's news and we were harassed and lied about. I had also been betrayed by my hubby that night in ways I swore I'd never let anyone betray me. I was actually planning on filing for divorce on Monday, November 10th.
On November 9th, when he had his aneurysm the Lord broke me, He broke us. The first few days I was still clinging to human reasoning and logic to get through the pain and devastation. Eventually, the pain and reality of what had happened became too much. I had no choice to not become completely emptied out, broken, and to lose myself in Christ. To hold on to myself or my life for one more day had become impossible. The bigness of Christ had short circuited my brain. I saw Him.
In the hotel room that night almost 3 years ago I watched as the Lord gave breathe back to Chris. Just moments before I watched my husband turn into monster due to alcohol and then watched him almost die. If it were just about me I would go into detail about every little thing that happened, but it wasn't just me so that's the extent to which I will say about it. I have began to write a book about the whole experience, but I will never let another person read it. It was such an amazing story of Christ's redemption and a second chance in every sense of the word, I had to tell it. There are countless ways He saved me that night.
Can I tell you that Chris has become a broken and changed man more than I have ever seen it in anyone? He has become the most humble, strong, and willing soul I have ever met.
It is a blessing and amazing that the night we almost lost everything was the night we both became broken before the Lord(actually it took Chris a while because he was in a coma and had to recover from a traumatic brain injury).
We still have hard times and because we are very different people we fight. Usually in the arguments and fights I can always find a little piece of anger or resentment about "that night" that was never let go of. I let go and we move on. One of his surgeons at the Mayo clinic had said that most people in his condition don't make it. Sometimes I wonder what life would be like today if he died. Sometimes I see a life flight helicopter in the air and have a flashback. I tear up as I thank the Lord for my family.
We didn't know the Lord like we do now, but we would not know Him the way we do had He not come down from heaven that night to walk us through it all. Today we have the freedom in Christ and the realization of Him, but it was almost three years ago that we became broken people before Him.
Every year as the anniversary day approaches I blog about what the Lord did. I may write a few this year as I am more grateful than ever. Thanks for reading!
Love,
Jackie