Our family home schools. I thoroughly enjoy it and my children say they do too. It's not necessarily something we "do" between certain hours of each weekday, but rather more of a lifestyle. This coming year we are putting one of our young children into public school. It is mandatory he attends this school in order to get the speech therapy he needs 3 times a week. When he no longer needs the therapy, he'll be home with the rest of us. While he is in school we are still going to have our more cultural activities(art, music, poetry, nature, bible/history, science) in the afternoon so he can join in. I will still consider him a home schooled child because he will be learning most everything at home still.
We are not 'seasoned' hs'ers by any means, but we are no longer quite so new at it either. This coming school year will be our fourth. And in three years we have never taken an official break, like summer break, until this year. We are just starting back up into doing designated learning activities and writing after taking about a month off. We never stopped reading, science, and some geography only because it happened to a be a part of our daily lives anyway. What I learned during this time is that breaks are important. Even breaks from good things. It's good to feel a sense of relief from pressure to accomplish something. It's good for the kids to have a day so filled with relaxing and lazy-ness that they never end up getting dressed. It's healthy for me, mom, to have a break so that I can have the time to be inspired about our future plans, so that I can remember why we are doing this in the first place, so that I never get so burned out that I put my boys in school before the Lord gives me the "go ahead" to do so.
Something else that I have learned is that the curriculum I choose is not as important as the time I spend with them. There are methods galore to choose from and I have tried many. We spend thousands of dollars every year trying new things and building up our hs library. And while I value and treasure each tool I have for teaching/learning, none of it gets my kids going the way just spending time with them does. I have come to see that with a well planned, written out year, I could home school for free at the library and use the nature park and my kitchen as a science lab and learn just as much. Don't tell my husband. I see our years getting cheaper and cheaper as I discover what's really important in our journey.
Now, just because I said I could do it for free doesn't mean that it would be easy, so I am grateful for the many curriculums that I've learned so much from. Trying out different styles and mixing them together has shown me what I like and what won't work in our house. We have found that literature based(Charlotte Mason/Montessori method) curriculum with some unit studies thrown in there is best for us. Teaching with an idea in mind about what the Lord showed me our days should look like, led us to these types of books. I began with a very structured and well written curriculum called A Beka. It was school, only done at home. It was exactly what I needed to get me started. I needed a curriculum that was familiar to me(I went to public school) and that would help me gain confidence in my home school abilities. We began to look at homeschooling as chore using these books so that was what told me I needed to move on to something a little less structured and a lot more natural and free. We need lots of wiggle room for the extra learning opportunities that pop up in everyday life!
As we ease back into the organized, official days of homeschooling I am more excited and alive than ever! I am so grateful for the chance in life to do this. I am thankful that I get to be a mommy and I have been given the desire and tools to home school. I don't forget that these days are gifts from the Lord. I know that in the school year coming up I will face the days that make me question if we should go on, but as in life, the valleys make the mountains so much taller! It's the ups and downs that create life and I've learned more from the lows than the highs. Off to spend some time with my kids... happy homeschooling!
Thanks for reading!
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Sunday, June 19, 2011
what I wanted to share last night....
It has been a very busy Father's Day morning here in the Dukes' household. After cooking a big breakfast and cleaning my floors and folding my laundry, my thought are becoming almost organized enough to turn into a bog. :)
I am still coming off the emotional highs and lows of last night's meeting. I was so touched by all of the Saints that shared their hearts as well as the Brother that put together a time of teaching for us all. I love how beautiful it was to watch this man pour into us the joys and lessons he's learned throughout his marriage.
I wanted to share so bad last night, but I couldn't. If I would have began speaking, the water works would have turned on. I had such a hard time keeping myself together.
I do have some thoughts on things that were shared that I would love to add on...
I definitely see that men and women have been misunderstanding each other for centuries and it doesn't stop when we get married. Something a Brother said last night hit the nail on the metaphorical head... sometimes there are big "foxes" lurking in the bushes. Something more than a power struggle or a need to win an argument. Sometimes there are real trust, safety, and practical issues that spawn these smaller arguments. These are the big ones that split families up. Cheating, addiction, violence, as well as sexual and mental abuse. Both Chris and I, having openly shared our problems with addiction, understand that at any time these problems could become real for us. When that happens, showing love and affection, as well as respect and adoration can take a form different than what we're used to it looking like. In these cases, I have seen that respect can be putting ourselves in a vulnerable position. There have been times when Chris has needed to hold a mirror up to my face. I didn't feel very loved, but it was what I needed. There have also been times where I've had to do the same to him. He can tell you first hand that he did not feel respected during these times. But the safety of our children and of each other depended on that honesty and willingness to be "shot down" by the other. I am sure that these moments may have saved our lives at times.
One of the other things that I had to share was on the topic of respect. The Brother teaching shared that we all have this need, some more than others. I can say as a woman of the house, respect falls right up there with love and admiration. When I have not felt respected, it has turned me into Jackie in the flesh. The Sisters unfortunately have seen this side of me too many times! There was one time in particular that I felt my name was "smeared in the mud" and it cut to the depths. There were real issues that needed to be dealt with and bigger "foxes" that were lurking behind the bushes. The experience helped me to see that love and respect go hand in hand. You can have respect without love, but not love without respect.
I enjoyed last night's teaching very much. I enjoyed the sharing and singing immensely. I guess I was hoping for a magic solution to some of the bigger problems Chris and I deal with and share (openly). And because there are no two marriages the same, the only solution anyone can give is to turn to Christ. And that includes the Christ in each other. Certain Saints have been given to us to help us through certain problems. Not everyone can understand every issue and so that's where the recommendation from Frank came in... not to open up to the whole Church about deep problems, but only the ones that He directs us to.
The last 2 weeks on marriage have been extremely eye opening for both Chris and I. We have seen that we can't do "this" on our own. The old way of hiding our struggles is now gone. The Saints here are not looking at us and our mistakes, but look right through us to see Christ.
I especially want to thank the Sisters in the body. They have been better to me than any counseling I have ever received in the outside world. The beauty, strength, grace, love, and boldness in every Sister that has reached out to me, shared Christ with me, and loved on me despite my faults, has been life saving. I love you Sisters. I finally understand what Jennifer meant when she was describing the Sisterhood to me just before I came here. I get it, I get Him.
Thanks for letting me share. The Lord is so good to us.
I am still coming off the emotional highs and lows of last night's meeting. I was so touched by all of the Saints that shared their hearts as well as the Brother that put together a time of teaching for us all. I love how beautiful it was to watch this man pour into us the joys and lessons he's learned throughout his marriage.
I wanted to share so bad last night, but I couldn't. If I would have began speaking, the water works would have turned on. I had such a hard time keeping myself together.
I do have some thoughts on things that were shared that I would love to add on...
I definitely see that men and women have been misunderstanding each other for centuries and it doesn't stop when we get married. Something a Brother said last night hit the nail on the metaphorical head... sometimes there are big "foxes" lurking in the bushes. Something more than a power struggle or a need to win an argument. Sometimes there are real trust, safety, and practical issues that spawn these smaller arguments. These are the big ones that split families up. Cheating, addiction, violence, as well as sexual and mental abuse. Both Chris and I, having openly shared our problems with addiction, understand that at any time these problems could become real for us. When that happens, showing love and affection, as well as respect and adoration can take a form different than what we're used to it looking like. In these cases, I have seen that respect can be putting ourselves in a vulnerable position. There have been times when Chris has needed to hold a mirror up to my face. I didn't feel very loved, but it was what I needed. There have also been times where I've had to do the same to him. He can tell you first hand that he did not feel respected during these times. But the safety of our children and of each other depended on that honesty and willingness to be "shot down" by the other. I am sure that these moments may have saved our lives at times.
One of the other things that I had to share was on the topic of respect. The Brother teaching shared that we all have this need, some more than others. I can say as a woman of the house, respect falls right up there with love and admiration. When I have not felt respected, it has turned me into Jackie in the flesh. The Sisters unfortunately have seen this side of me too many times! There was one time in particular that I felt my name was "smeared in the mud" and it cut to the depths. There were real issues that needed to be dealt with and bigger "foxes" that were lurking behind the bushes. The experience helped me to see that love and respect go hand in hand. You can have respect without love, but not love without respect.
I enjoyed last night's teaching very much. I enjoyed the sharing and singing immensely. I guess I was hoping for a magic solution to some of the bigger problems Chris and I deal with and share (openly). And because there are no two marriages the same, the only solution anyone can give is to turn to Christ. And that includes the Christ in each other. Certain Saints have been given to us to help us through certain problems. Not everyone can understand every issue and so that's where the recommendation from Frank came in... not to open up to the whole Church about deep problems, but only the ones that He directs us to.
The last 2 weeks on marriage have been extremely eye opening for both Chris and I. We have seen that we can't do "this" on our own. The old way of hiding our struggles is now gone. The Saints here are not looking at us and our mistakes, but look right through us to see Christ.
I especially want to thank the Sisters in the body. They have been better to me than any counseling I have ever received in the outside world. The beauty, strength, grace, love, and boldness in every Sister that has reached out to me, shared Christ with me, and loved on me despite my faults, has been life saving. I love you Sisters. I finally understand what Jennifer meant when she was describing the Sisterhood to me just before I came here. I get it, I get Him.
Thanks for letting me share. The Lord is so good to us.
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
bullying
This morning I read the kids a book about a little girl that was being bullied. Not by children who threw fists or carried knives, but by a friend. Emotional bullying is every bit as harmful as physical bullying. Children and adults have committed suicide over it, or so I've read in the news. Anyway, I was intrigued by the maturity, yet simplicity of this book. I think that adults anywhere(probably mostly in the workplace) could benefit from it.
A friend that bullies is not a friend. In this book anytime the little girl would talk to her bullying "friend" about how she felt she would be told that she was just being sensitive and ridiculous.
Now, this world is run by Love and absolutely nothing more. I had a talk with my kids afterwards about what it means to live by Love. I capitalize "Love" because Christ is Love and we live by His life. We are creatures that react to our hurt feelings either by Love, or in the flesh. Any action or words meant to tear down or sting, is not acting out of Love. Does that mean we have to be bullied? Does the verse telling us to turn the other cheek mean that we no longer have the right to NOT be bullied? I doubt it.
What I told my children this morning is now something I am going to tell myself in similar situations. If there is relational aggression going on, it is not our jobs to find out why the person is behaving the way they are. If someone is bullying my kids, myself, or anyone else, that person is not a friend. A friend is someone who likes you, not bullies you. In this fallen world it is crucial to teach my kids skills that weren't taught 20 years ago. In turn, I am coming to see that adult bullying isn't much different. I am learning those skills too.
There are problems in life that aren't easily solved and this is one of them. It helps to know that people who are bullied are not alone. But that doesn't mean it has to stay that way. In really seeking the Lord's heart on this matter and exploring how to preset it to my children, this is the conclusion I gave them, and myself. If being bullied, don't be "nicer" in hopes that the bully will all of the sudden see you as a friend. It's also not "just the way things are". As people who know the Lord we can see that when the excuses "that's just the way things are" or "just being real" are actually just acting in the flesh. True being real and the way things truly are, are in Christ. We stand for that. We uphold the Lord's right to love others, sometimes from afar. And, for the most part, the bullies we face don't even know the Lord, or at least not deeply. That is a great way to explain their behaviour to children.
I got this kids book at the library. It's called My Secret Bully and it has questions, suggestions, and resources. It's awesome.
Thank you for reading and please leave comments if you have 'em.
Love,
Jackie
A friend that bullies is not a friend. In this book anytime the little girl would talk to her bullying "friend" about how she felt she would be told that she was just being sensitive and ridiculous.
Now, this world is run by Love and absolutely nothing more. I had a talk with my kids afterwards about what it means to live by Love. I capitalize "Love" because Christ is Love and we live by His life. We are creatures that react to our hurt feelings either by Love, or in the flesh. Any action or words meant to tear down or sting, is not acting out of Love. Does that mean we have to be bullied? Does the verse telling us to turn the other cheek mean that we no longer have the right to NOT be bullied? I doubt it.
What I told my children this morning is now something I am going to tell myself in similar situations. If there is relational aggression going on, it is not our jobs to find out why the person is behaving the way they are. If someone is bullying my kids, myself, or anyone else, that person is not a friend. A friend is someone who likes you, not bullies you. In this fallen world it is crucial to teach my kids skills that weren't taught 20 years ago. In turn, I am coming to see that adult bullying isn't much different. I am learning those skills too.
There are problems in life that aren't easily solved and this is one of them. It helps to know that people who are bullied are not alone. But that doesn't mean it has to stay that way. In really seeking the Lord's heart on this matter and exploring how to preset it to my children, this is the conclusion I gave them, and myself. If being bullied, don't be "nicer" in hopes that the bully will all of the sudden see you as a friend. It's also not "just the way things are". As people who know the Lord we can see that when the excuses "that's just the way things are" or "just being real" are actually just acting in the flesh. True being real and the way things truly are, are in Christ. We stand for that. We uphold the Lord's right to love others, sometimes from afar. And, for the most part, the bullies we face don't even know the Lord, or at least not deeply. That is a great way to explain their behaviour to children.
I got this kids book at the library. It's called My Secret Bully and it has questions, suggestions, and resources. It's awesome.
Thank you for reading and please leave comments if you have 'em.
Love,
Jackie
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