I meet with others to express Christ in an organic way, as opposed to going to church. Last night in our meeting we did a skit. My husband, myself,and three others. In this skit, we attempted to portray the way at Christ brings us to Himself, despite other lovers in our lives. For years I believed that it was my good decision that brought me into a relationship with Him. I had said the sinners prayer and therefore I initiated the engagement... pretty tacky, I know.
The skit showed me going from finding love in a man, to drugs, to finding my peace in worldly beauty and things. All the while, Christ is tapping on my shoulder and I am ignoring Him. These other "lovers" are becoming my prison of thorns. Eventually that wall of thorns becomes a path that leads me back to Christ. But before I can even turn around to face Him, He clothes me with righteousness, with Himself. When I do turn to face Him I pour myself into Him, which was actually played out using a cistern of water.
When we were planning out the skit, the initial love handed to me by Christ is what got me. Before I could even say I was sorry, it was Him who prompted the ability to desire Him. There is no love that I can give to Christ that He didn't give Himself.
I knew doing the skit that there would be those who wouldn't understand what was going on. We chose not to narrate and to just let each Saint catch in their Spirit what they were prepared to catch. I was really nervous because normally don't share in a meeting and I was afraid of being judged. And although it was a quick, light run through of events I was acting out, it was truth. I spent the better part of my youth using heroin. I did despicable things for money. The friends closest to me died. I was trash on the street.
I have always had a tendency to try to make myself worthy of my Lord's love. Why would he want to be with me? I have hated being with me at times. But as I think about the faces of the Saints I see almost each day of the week, I can settle. I love the folks He has me with. The fellow Saints in my church are so beautiful and full of forgiveness and love. They overlook my faults. They accept me even if they don't understand what I'm feeling. I can see why Christ is so enamored by His Bride. He sees Himself in her.
In our skit we used thorns... actually it was brown paper tied around string and hung up on rods. But everyone was a good sport and went with it. What may have been the thorns that created the path, I saw as detours. Isn't that like our Lord... what we think are distractions from the plan are actually a part of the plan. I was in rehab. First a few short stays, then a long one. I was led down the path to Christ while in rehab. Another thorn-the aneurysm. Another-depression. All of these corridors were straight paths to my engagement to Christ.
And when I got to Him and poured myself out in front of Him, I saw that it was never me who did anything. Jesus Christ lived a perfect life. Then he died a gruesome death. And not only did He defy death and rise to life, but He chose me to clothe with love and righteousness.
Thanks for reading!
Love,
Jackie
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