parenting by the Life

We were away for several days on a vacation. It was great! We went to Nickelodeon's Resort for families(which is super duper kid friendly). Chris and I are normally very stressed out when with the kids. We try to be great parents and it takes so much out of us. So the name of the game this weekend was "fun." We simply wanted to enjoy our family. Now, we definitely chimed in if the kids got too out of control, but we tried to keep a vacation frame of mind.
In the past I have looked at my friends that have really great kids and wonder how they parent so effortlessly. How do I stay on top of the guiding, praising, correcting, scolding, and punishing and have time to do much else? Answer... the same way I am being shaped and molded: by following examples. I have the life of Christ inside me and I'm pretty sure that's what gives me the desire to look to others. I have friends that I talk to when I need wise counsel on important situations, on how to handle conflicts, and how to show love and forgiveness when it seems impossible. It's simple... look to Christ, but I'm young in Him and in the time it takes to look to Him, I get distracted. In those distractions is where bitterness and selfishness creep in.
I look to others when I need to know how to do good things, not just how to handle the dificult siuations. Such as, how to share in a church meeting, how to have a friend, how to be a good wife and a good mom. There are some people in my life that I just love being around, they inspire me. Every time I am near them I am changed for the better.
It's great seeing two people disagree about a topic and not dislike each other for it. That was a biggie in my life... to disagree with a friend was cause for an end to the friendship. So I agreed with everyone. Learning to speak up when I don't agree has been terrifying. I feel like my heart is going to explode out of my chest, even for the small disagreements. But I am healthier and better in learning to speak up. I don't hold so much resentment like I use to. Looking back I see that I wasn't doing anyone any favors by behaving in a spiritually elite manner and then having negativity and bitterness spewed out behind closed doors. I know I seem like a silly child when Christ is working through something in me, but it's better than being a fake.
We are back home, back to normal life. I have taken vacation mentality and made it my new mentality when it comes to patience with my kids. I know I won't be perfect, but I'll let Christ be the change I need. I'll let my kids learn how to talk kindly with each other and show patience and love by speaking kindly and patiently to them. I will demonstrate how to deal with being frustrated by turning to Christ, and letting them watch me.
I used to have friends that were hot and cold. Sometimes they were friendly and humble. Other times they seemed jealous of everyone. The interesting thing was how their kid behaved the same way. It was crazy! I kid you not, this child was like a spiritual thermometer for the parents. I had never seen anything like it. When the parents were being kind, the kid would run up and say hi and hug me. When the parents were dealing with an issue, the kid was a punk. I am reminded of this all the time when I am tempted to complain about someone or something. Our kids take our words very seriously. If I am dealing with a conflict, I make sure that my kids have no idea what's going on. Number one: I don't want them to act unkindly towards anyone, and Number 2: I don't always forgive as quickly as I should and I don't want my kids to learn to hold grudges.
Fortunately, kids are resilient. I am just figuring out that if I yell at my kids to stop yelling at each other, they are more likely to listen to my actions than my words. I have a church full of women that have come alongside me and unknowingly helped me to be a better mom. They have done it by simply being an example. We have so many different parenting styles in our church and all of them have been helpful to me. I have been a crunchy mom from the beginning(crunchy=attachment parenting, by Dr. Sears) which is different from what most of the other moms do, but it doesn't matter. What we do doesn't hold a candle to how we do it. Watching how moms parent by the life of Christ is how I am learning to parent by His life.
Thanks for reading!
Love,
Jackie