This blog has been on my heart to write for a while now. The kids are sleeping, laundry's done, grocery shopping's done, and I feel the Lord leading me to write. So here it goes...
Sometimes people come along into my life that tend to tear down. By tear down, I mean pointless critizism as opposed to healthy critizism, or backhanded compliments, or simply trying to play games. Now, I am not as tough as I used to be, but I still know how to deal with these types of people. Usually it is someone who is not stable in anyway or has a dark cloud always overhead. I figure out if a character is shady/not shady this way... I have 3 amazing brothers. These guys really are the greatest people I know and I would do anything for them. They are surfers, hilarious, and would give their lives for the people they care about. If someone in my life wouldn't be able to hang out with them and just chill, I don't get too close to that person.
Ten years ago I was known for popping females in the face just for caddy remarks(only twice, but they were good ones). Today I am actually not ruled by flesh. My flesh will begin to manifest when I dwell too long on a comment or a conversation that I may feel needs a little 'correction', but overall, I am ruled by my Lord. I let both males and females say pretty much whatever they want to me. If I care about the person I will talk, have a conversation, and basically respect myself enough to not get railroaded.
I have found that lately I seem to be caring less and less about anyone who feels so jealous, out of control, or angry that they need to put me down. I am strong these days and can handle it. I have the strength to turn the other cheek all day long if needed. The world sees this as weakness, fear even. Actually, it is my flesh giving way to the Spirit within me. If a person is extra delusional I even go along with it just because there's no point in rocking the boat if I truly don't care.
I feel strong. This is not the world's type of strong, but something bigger and more calming. There has never been more peace than there is now. There has never been more clarity than now. I see that the world is full of issues. And I am okay with that for the first time. Nothing seems that scary because I truly feel that the Lord is with me and I am above the pain.
If anything I am beginning to see the fear, pain, and unsettlement with the discontented. And I thank the Lord because this is His gift to me.
I am not saying that I am totally immune to any slip of the double edged sword, only that it is simply annoying now. If I do settle on negative words spoken over me too long I bring it before my Lord and confess it to my husband and he usually makes me laugh at it one way or another.
There are safe places in the world, but sometimes I need to venture away from them and come into contact with gloom. It used to cut me deep. It is now barely a scrape and I really wanted to blog about it. Maybe for my benefit or maybe for someone else's.
God Bless,
Jackie
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