my only concern

I love Christ. I love Him, live by Him, try to turn to Him in difficult situations, & meet with others who do the same. For long time my purpose has been to try to live by the life inside that wasn't me, but Christ. For most of my christian life I would "hang out" with God. Throughout the day, at night, during difficult times, and when I was bored.
For years I lived by the Life of Christ, I just didn't know that it was called that. When I met Christ I was 17 and in a rehabilitative home for girls. We were free to know Christ organically. We were free to burst out in songs of thanksgiving. We had time set aside to spend with Christ in whatever way we wished. The group was untouched by the world yet. A lot of us got to spend our first year as a christian in a wonderful christian community. Because of that beginning I always felt free to have a close relationship with my Lord.
The second(the first is in another blog to come) absolute, most important lesson I have learned about living organically with others is this... Instruction is meant for me, not them.
Every word in the bible, every piece of correction the Lord has ever bestowed upon me was for me, not someone else. Living entwined lives with other christians, and being a female that likes to talk, talk, talk it can become very easy to begin telling others what to do. Especially in a situation where the Lord has shown me wisdom.
I think about my pastor friends and their job. They read portions of the bible and then come in everyday and share about how we can live the better christian life. Well, I think the bible was meant for each of us, and not someone else. When Christ says that he wants us to put others before ourselves, he is talking to me. That's not a verse I can use to bind others with, that verse is for me. When Christ leads me to die to my desires and agendas, He is not leading me to tell others to die to self too. The instruction is for me.

The first time I heard a series of teachings done by one of my favorite servants of God, I was blown away. It was a 9-part series about living by the indwelling life of Christ. It lined right up with what I knew to be true and it made sense in what was becoming a confusing world. I still listen to it often. Because of those messages Chris and I are a part of an organic church. I was so excited to be a part of something so great. What I didn't understand was that the best part of what I was doing was getting the chance to share the Christ that was inside. I didn't have to discard the Christ I had gotten to know and form a relationship with since my teen years. I could know Him and share Him. Not His instruction, not what's right and wrong, and not even His wisdom, but Him. And because all of His children know Him differently at different times, my relationship with Him looked perfect between Him and me. If we all were having the same journey with Him, what we shared of Him would be the same across the board. And it's so much prettier when we share different pieces.
There have been times when my path, my walk, looked different from another's. It's a beautiful thing. What separates us from a cult is that we live by the indwelling life of Christ... not the fact that we are all doing the same thing or feel the same way.
I am trying to teach this lesson on a smaller scale to my children. I recently overheard one of my kids telling another "Say sorry to me!" I reminded him that saying sorry was something that was his responsibility to say if he hurt someone. It is not his responsibility to tell others to say sorry. As far as he's concerned, if no one ever says sorry to him again, so be it. And to echo that to myself, if no one ever does what the Lord is encouraging me to do in my spirit, so be it. I am not to be concerned with what the Lord is doing in others. All I am to do is express Love.
Thanks for reading!
Love,
Jakie