just say yes

When our organic church was being left on it's own for the first time, one of the Brothers who had planted us said these words, "Lean towards yes". We were being given practical instruction in how to handle meetings and situations. If an idea came up, unless there was a good reason to oppose it, just say yes. It seemed pretty obvious and simple.

Now, in the beginning I would have said that I leaned toward yes often. If someone had a great idea, why oppose it? Lean towards yes. Sometimes it was really hard and other times, especially when I liked an idea, it was no sweat. In the last year those words have come to shape my thoughts and my actions and the way I live in community with others. I have grown to see that my first reaction in every circumstance was to watch out for my feelings and my well being. I had held every idea, action, and statement up to the light of my will and my agenda and measured it based on what was best for me. The Lord revealed to me that I had become a lean towards no person. And there was bitterness attached to that, but more importantly Christ was no where in sight.

When the Lord revealed this to me I wanted to lay down my right to have any kind of opinion about anyone else's lifestyle, journey, or ideas. To live by the life of Christ was to say yes, my Brother or yes, my Sister, you may have your way. Whether I believe it's what's right or not, I will fall back and allow you to shine. That doesn't mean that I now all of the sudden agree with everyone else. Believe me, I don't. Inside I can rationalize anything... "But Lord, what if I *know* someone is being manipulative, or sneaky? What if that person over there is being controlling or leading the church in the wrong way?" Yes, even then, let them have the right of way.

Sometimes saying "yes, you can have your way" means letting others make mistakes and making the mistakes with them. But I know enough to know that Christ knows all, and I would rather be surrendering and losing than pushing my own will. The One I am really saying yes to is Christ and the only way I can say yes to something I don't like, is through Christ. For years I was the type of person that couldn't let anything go. I was hard on others and really hard on myself. Before moving to Gainesville, Florida and meeting with the organic church here I never had friendships that lasted very long because a soon as there was a conflict, I was gone. Sometimes I had very justified reasons, righteous anger. It really bothered me when I saw hypocritical behavior, for example. In order to justify satisfying the flesh, I could talk myself into all the reasons why it was good to call out bad behavior. But, Christ got to the very heart of this when He spoke of first removing the log in our own eye before telling others about the splinter in theirs. In the last year and a half, the Lord has been filling and replacing the old man. The Christ inside isn't concerned with other folk's sin or issues. As a result, I lean towards yes to my Brothers and Sisters, friends, acquaintances, and strangers. Yes, they have permission to make mistakes, to not be a perfect person, and I will not judge or hold them accountable.

On the flip side, I have lived in close communal life with my Brothers and Sisters long enough that they have seen the "real" Jackie. The Saints I live with have looked past selfishness and immaturity as I seek to live by Divine life. I have melted down quite gloriously at times, but all my fellow Brethren saw was the Christ in me as they "leaned towards yes."

This life comes down to a choice... am I willing to lose? Am I willing to die and let my plans go undone so that Christ can have His way, whatever that may look like? When living by Christ's life, He is always going to choose the way of grace. But what if someone is really doing something wrong, and leaning towards yes isn't what's best? It does happen, but it is extremely rare and I have yet to have it happen in my life. Usually the Spirit handles problems like that and human confrontation isn't necessary.

I began the blog with some wisdom that was shared when the Brothers who planted our church left over a year ago. Well, they are back for a visit this week and I would like to end with some additional wisdom from one in particular. "Love is not sentimental. It was costly." I think that sums it up. Living a lean towards yes lifestyle is sacrificial. It requires doing things I don't want to do. It costs the death of my desires and my agenda. It is humbling. It is beyond anything I could ever do in my own power and it takes Christ to do it.

Thanks for reading. Have a wonderful week!

Love,

Jackie