the cross

The cross. When Christ is being manifested in ourselves, the cross will surely take over the flesh.
All my life I have had a problem with seeing the worst in people and situations. I used to think it was "word of knowledge" that the Lord was giving me so I would know to stay away from certain people. But the Lord doesn't work that way. He spreads the word of knowledge over the entire body. He didn't just give it to me. So that excuse was out.
Then I started to think that because I had spent a decent amount of time on the "streets" during my addiction, I could see people's manipulation and bs pretty easily. I had learned early on that most people have selfish motives in the world of addiction. Most people did want to hurt me in that world. But I am no longer in that world, so that excuse is out.
For a short time I thought I was just paranoid. Maybe there was something wrong with me. Maybe the world is filled with good intentions and love and I'm just a miserable person who can't see any of it. But that would discard the Christ in me, so that can't be it.
Finally, I am seeing things for what they are. Good or bad, none of it matters if I am facing the cross. The most manipulative person can rule the earth and I am not to say a word against him, because when I face the cross it doesn't matter.
Most of you that read my blog know that I write what I go through. Well, I am attempting to choose Christ over my flesh right now when the flesh wants so bad to see the worst. The flesh wants to feel uncomfortable with people and situations that "rub me the wrong way." I am faced with the cross.
During my time with my partner a specific verse stood out to me but I could not put my finger on why. As I attempt to turn to Christ as my flesh wars against me, the verse made sense...
John 21:22 Jesus said to him, "If it is my will that he remain until I come, what is that to you? Follow me.
I replaced the words as if He was speaking to me...
Follow me. I am everything, enough, and when you look to Me you will see that none of this matters. Unfairness, manipulative people, a world full of pain, it is nothing when held to Me. If the whole world crashes down tomorrow, it matters nothing to the Saint looking directly at Me. If it is my will that your worst fear should come true, what is that to you? Follow Me."