no end in sight...

The days are getting long and annoying. I was able to get some relief last night as I met with the Saints in Gainesville, but now I am back in my home. Sitting here at the table trying not to think about the anxiety and hopelessness that keeps trying to take over my mind.
I am almost two weeks into this weaning process and I still have a ways to go. I take just enough of my prescription narcotic to keep me from going over to the 'dark side' in my mind.
Withdrawal is withdrawal, whether I am getting off of herion or percocets, it all feels the same. An opiate kick is a universal sickness. A sickness that I am getting so used to, that it feels like a part of me.
When I first began to clean out the toxins in my kitchen pantry and fridge as well as the products in my bathroom, I figured that this weaning process would be a breeze. My hopes were high and I was not worn down with 10 days of sickness, anxiety, and depression.
Now, I am sure that I could be feeling alot worse if I decided to overload my liver, kidneys, and colon with processed junk. But I am certainly not skating out of the standard symptoms just because I am eating better now. I do have to say that the remedies that have kept me from losing my mind have been these... Kava tea, valerian root, wheat grass shots that seem to give me burts of energy, and melatonin for sleep. Probably the most important part of my detox has been the strength of my Lord.
Whenever I've tried to do this before it has always been my weakness that has caused me to fear and give in. I have to say that this time my weakness have proven to be my most important variable in all this... He is showing Himself strong and real to me. He is here and I know that this is the right time to do this. I saw Him last night and as I was prayed for, realized that it was Him praying for me through His Body.
So, today I am weary. I am getting tired of feeling sick. And I am totally and desperately dependant on my Lord to get me through this.
Thanks for reading.
Jackie